5 steps to becoming an artist for the modern Millennial

Hello friends.

Have you ever thought “Fuck my life has absolutely no fucking meaning, and I should really be doing something with my life other then working at (insert meaningless job here)”?

Well today is your lucky day, because with these 5 simple steps you too can leave the realm of living in a meaningless vapid void, and move into the scope of artistic self deprecation.
LETS GET STARTED!!!!

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STEP 1
Select your art form.
personally, I found my start into the slow, spiraling, well of depression by starting a band, and god were we awful (spoiler alert my music still sucks) BUT I THINK ITS GREAT.
you can do other things like…

Painting.

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Dancing.

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or even cosplay.

4

The world is your crappy overly critical oyster and you are its nearly perfect semi precious synthetic pearl.

STEP 2
Practice. Practice. Practice.

and I mean a lot, like every fucking day be doing some shit. You wake up in the morning like “fuck. I don’t wanna do fuck”. WELL FUCK YOUR SHIT, DO THE DO BECAUSE ARTIST SUFFER FOR THEIR ART. THAT’S WHY ITS CALLED ART, NOT HAPPY FUN TIME CRAFTS WITH GRANDMA.

sad grammy

Not that we don’t love you Grammy, but craft time with glitter and macaroni won’t alleviate my depression. You understand, right Grandma?

happy grsammy

I thought so grandma, you rock.

STEP 3 GOD DAMN IT
Cry.

Just cry a whole lot.

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More.

2

MOREEEEEEEEE.

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and when you think you’re finally done crying over you’re art…

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YOU’RE FUCKING NOT, NOW CRY MORE!!!

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STEP 4 OH GOD WHEN WILL THIS END (soon I think)
Publish your work 😀 such wonder.

Its such a great feeling to finally have created your masterpiece, and you’re so proud of it and everything is wonderful and right with the world. Yay you, and all you’ve accomplished. I want you to know I’m proud of you for making it to step 4. It’s been a long ass journey filled with turmoil, crying, hunger, depression, crying, binge eating, more crying, some unexplained drug and alcohol use, and finally more crying again and you’ve made it through to the other side.

this

STEP 5 EL FIN
Let the hate roll in.

hatemail

Its ok, because you can now start the process over again. Congrats on bringing meaning to your life.

happy

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