5 ways to make sure everyone knows you’re the gayest gay and not a noob

Ok! So here are 5 simple and easy steps to make sure EVERYONE knows that you’re the gayest gay in existence and that no one can challenge your gayness. Also, that you’re the ultimate gay authority ESPECIALLY AT PRIDE, GAY BARS, AND 169% AT DRAG SHOWS EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T DO DRAG BUT YOU WATCHED THIS SEASON OF RUPAUL’S BEST FRIEND RACE

STEP 1

SCREAM AT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET

Literally berate everyone for not knowing every single LGBTQIA+ term that can possibly exist, and I do mean EVERYONE. don’t know what cis means? GO FUCK YOURSELF! don’t know the asexual scale is? GO FUCK YOURSELF! don’t know what (self identify) Kin means? LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW YOU SHIT LORD GO FUCK YOURSELF!

STEP 2

Educate drag entertainers on what drag is really all about

I mean hey whats gayer then drag besides fisting? NOTHING AND YOU ARE AN EXPERT! so go all tell all those baby queens who have been doing drag a measly 20 years a thing or two, because I mean you did just finish watching the latest season of RPDR right? you’re an EXPERT! you know EVERYTHING!! have you considered taking just one thing off? maybe a less severe makeup?? I know you’re doing you, but could you pad a little less its extreme? have you ever tried for fishy? why aren’t you a fish queen? you’re really ugly because you’re not fish. you’re really bad at drag …… maybe you should just quit because you do not look like a real woman, LIKE UGH do you even know what drag is …………. my opinion on what? drag kings? whats that?

Step 3

Harass ALL of your ex’s

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON ….. but kinda do this its really good entertainment for me

STEP 4

post naked pictures of yourself on the internet

SO MANY. ALL THE UNDERWEAR. TAKE 100 PHOTOS AND POST THEM ALL. DO NOT SCREEN THEM. JUST KEEP POSTING. THOSE PEOPLE SAYING YOU’RE SO HOT AND SEXY? FANS. THE LOVE (WANNA FUCK) YOU. YOU’RE ICONIC. ORIGINAL. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU’RE GORGEOUS. YOU’RE A MODEL. YOU LOOK LIKE LINDA EVANGLISTA. DID YOU STONE THAT BRIEF?

STEP 5

Ignore women and the L in LGBT outright

who are women? not someone you wanna fuck SO FUCK THEM … but not really because vaginas are icky and they scare you. so make some really sexist jokes about how gross vaginas are then go run around in your AC push-up underwear at a lesbian bar. whats a lesbian bar? those don’t exist in reality so just go invade it. remember you cant be offensive your a minority also a man therefor always right.

CONGRATULATIONS NOW EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE A COMPLETE FUCK I MEAN A GAY GOD WORTHY OF PASSING JUDGEMENT ON ALL ……. oh small disclaimer no fats, no fems, no Asians, no blacks, no Mexicans, KEEP IT CUTE OR GET BLOCKED BITCHES

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